A Nice Cup of Tea & a Sit Down

Paris Hilton is to be released from jail next Tuesday.   She will have served 24 days of a 45 day sentence.   Authorities state that the reason for her early release is on account of crowded jail conditions and good behavior.   Excuse me, but were we not told before she started her sentence, that she would be incarcerated in a special facility reserved exclusively for celebrities?   Who are all these mystery celebrities who are now crowding out the celebrity jail?   Moreover, why hasn't anyone noticed their absence from celebrity society?

In another interesting twist, it emerges that when Paris was released early last time on account of an undisclosed medical condition; the medical condition was in fact claustrophobia.   Now if we accept Paris's claim that she suffers from claustrophobia, how is it that when she was arrested originally, that she was found inside something as small and confining as a car? 

There's is something not quite kosher going on here.